Well, it's 2024. I've been duped by myself too many times to really believe in New Year's resolutions. But I suppose being optimistic requires persistent belief in the face of repeated failures. And (I should mention) I'm trying to be more optimistic. That desire started long before December 31st of 2023, but I suppose using the new year is a great way to make a public declaration and hold myself accountable. So this year is going to be different; I'm going to be different. One thing I'm planning to do differently is to create more. That means writing, playing music, recording, making stuff: all things that I truly enjoy doing, but will find excuses to avoid doing them. Stifling my creative spirit is out, and nourishing the creative spirit is in. Another thing I'm planning to do differently is to take control of my inner monologue. I am going to recognize moments I'm experiencing self-pity (or any of the other corrosive mental patterns I can fall in...
I'm resurrecting this thing. At one point, more than 15 years ago, I started a blog. I'm writing on it right now. Every once in a while, every few years or so, I would remember it existed and write something else. You can see that my posts jump from 2006 to 2008 to 2014? Some pretty big gaps in there. Writing for public consumption has always been terrifying to me. I am riddled with anxiety about being judged. I think that, for someone who does this regularly, it's necessary to somehow silence those internal whispers of insecurity and just do it. Just do the thing. Write the words and click "publish." I also think there's some degree of needing to accept that I will be wrong sometimes. Much of my anxiety about writing in this way is that people will read my writing and hold it against me when my opinions don't hold up to scrutiny, or when I don't have the information necessary to form an opinion worth taking seriously. So, I'll need to forgive ...